Formally the Roman capital of Britain this town was once the main settlement in the far northern outpost of one of histories greatest ever empires. Colchester – Camulodunum as it was known back in Ceasar’s day – is England’s oldest recorded town. Today you’re more likely to see it as the location for an episode of Booze Britain. It was the site of an important siege against the royalist army during the English civil war. The only battles you see take place now are between Mark Wright wannabes smashing each other over the head with bottles of Rekorderlig strawberry flavour for the honour of a bleach blonde celebrity big brother fan who couldn’t tell you what the chemical symbol for hydrogen is despite 99% of her head being filled with it. Fortunately the towns’ rich and far reaching history make it an attractive destination for the taphophile tourist. Here’s part one (click here for part two) of a collection of snaps from the the churchyards surrounding the town centre with a little history thrown in. Enjoy.
St Mary At-The-Walls.
An interesting name made all the more intriguing by the fact that the roman wall surrounding Colchester is the very same one Humpty Dumpty supposedly fell off of. Apparently the story was inspired by a one eyed gunman firing at parliamentarians during the civil war from atop the church tower. The roundheads eventually toppled him and his gruesome death amidst a bloody battle inspired the children’s tale about an unruly egg spilling his yolky guts all over the pavement.
There’s an anti drinking advert in this somewhere…
St Boltoph’s Priory
A monastery built in the Norman era. It was dissolved – metaphorically, not in acid – during the early 16th century when Henry VIII decided to ransack priories and convents because he needed more money for his favourite yet cripplingly expensive hobby of warring with France. After being stripped of it’s assets the building took a further pounding during the civil war. This time a structural pillaging as the same guys who murdered Humpy Dumpty went to town on the building with muskets and cannons. Burials were carried out during the 18th and 19th century leaving the site looking like a set used during one of the battle scenes from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Colchester Natural History Museum (Formerly All Saints Church)
It’s amusingly subversive to see the pews and pulpit of a church replaced with glass cabinets filled with taxidermy foxes and seagulls explaining natural selection. The site used to be called All Saints church and was used by the parishioners from the St Boltophs site that the egg smashers blew to bits during the civil war. By the 1950’s the congregation had dwindled and it was converted into the Darwin inspired museum it is today. The graveyard has been left in the capable hands of mother nature who has turned it into a fitting surrounding for the museum. Reminding visitors that no matter how strong the stone you erect is nature always wins.
Holy Trinity Church
Phenomenally old church in the town centre with a tower which dates back to Saxon times. Pop inside to pick up a bead necklace and hand painted plant pot as there’s an arts and craft market inside these days. Fans of magnetics will be excited to note the presence of Elizabethan physician William Gilberd but disappointed the see the fence around the churchyard preventing any gravitational pull his grave may have.
St. Runwalds Street
Part one ends with a lunch recommendation. Just off the high street on a side road next to the town hall is a Pizza Express. There’s nothing special about the Italian chain restaurant itself however touring taphophiles should request a seat by the window. Here you can shove down garlic dough balls while admiring the small early 19th century graveyard which sits behind a large metal fence. Looking somewhat out of place and time boxed in between the back of a large council building and an office car park. Whatever church once stood here has long since vanished but town planners obviously didn’t want to evoke the angry spirits of the late Georgian period so the burial ground has been left untouched and inaccessible. Dine like an invading parliamentarian and order the pizza with a fried egg in the middle.
Esteban.
Esteban 